Figure it Out

Yea figure it out for urself and when you do, share it with me. I bet 8 on 10 people (thats my favourite stat number :P) would end up in discussions and the lucky 2 would figure it out. Hmmm... so what is it that I am trying to figure out here. Well, guess I haven't figured that out yet :P and yea I can go on and on in this maze confusing all of you who have been kind enough (or shall I say have the time in this busy busy world) to come and read this latest post of mine.

So I had a long and tiring day and ended it (almost ended) it with a very lively discussion with AAP007 on what and how can one figure out things. I will admit that I am not sure. And that you can never be a 100% sure of things. You take a decision to get married to someone - thats a point where you think you can commit and stand by it to spend the rest of your life with that one person. And then one sour moment, and you start questioning everything. The whole relationship you have built around yourself, all the dreams you have seen with someone, a whole new world you made and comes crashing in front you.

So does it really come crashing, or have you woken up from the crash just now to realise its crashed?

So AAP007 asked me if I decide to marry someone and then a week before the D day he comes up with the most unreasonable things ever and what would I do. Well, I didnt have an answer. Im trying to "figure it out" - do I still have one or not. There are so many things that go into it; that for you to just say one way or the other aint that simple. I can sit back and say yeah I will still stand by him and he will understand me or I can say No. If he values things over him and me - over us - then maybe he isnt the one im looking for and I wouldn't hesitate to walk off.

But then I think, can I really do it. Is it so easy to walk off? To forget, to put it all behind you. To just move ahead. Maybe yes maybe not. Depends on what you want. You want to stick to it, hang on to it or you've had enough. Its all about answering one questions,"Is it all worth it?"

Then again I read somewhere, "Truth is that everyone is going to hurt you; you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for" and then I think - "and make the suffering worth for yourself" that you can look back and smile at it...

Profound thoughts, little things in life looked at in a big way.

This is where we say its overrated, hyped and then its true. Its us, we overrate and hype things.

But then that's what life is about, making something more important than another. Prioritizing one over another, letting go and holding on. And in the end, know its a trade off a bargain. You lose some you gain some.

Is it about reaching a point where you say you have arrived, but then how do you know you wont question it. Is it about having your options? But then again, you always have your options, its about when you strike a deal with things and give in or breakfree. You can do it on day 1 or you can do it 20 years later. Well, I guess its about a point where you say,"This is it" and you stand by it. Committing to it. Having the confidence in yourself and not in another person. Knowing that you can do it and you are not dependent on another person.

Then we think if its about feeling it, knowing it, feeling what you know, knoing what you feel. Subconscious thought, conscious feeling or conscious thought, subconscious feeling. A maze of feeling and thoughts mixed. Do we rationalize our feelings, or do we just subject our will to feel things. To feel - overrated again?!! Hyped. Gut feel, instinct - its nothing but your confidence in yourself. When you are confident you are sure, thats when your gut feel is strong. When you are in doubt how will you feel strongly, how will you be sure of anything outside of you, when you dont know whats it inside of you.

Then again, is it your inner confidence that precedes what you feel or your feelings that precede your confidence. And then again Speaking Tree (I dont remember the writer) says,"Happiness is internal, its not external. Its within our selves and we cannot seek it outside of us." So PSO007 told me "Find the happiness within yourself and forget everything else :)

Then again is it about figuring out what you want or knowing that its not always gonna be the best and the best will always come. Hmmm... that's easier said than done. So what is it about??

I dont know. I wish I did. Maybe I willl come into the category of the 2 out of 10 who would one day figure it out. For now I havent, and no I can't answer that question I was asked today. I guess its about deciding whether its worth it, about make choices and moving on. About getting up one day and putting things behind you to move ahead. And then again I ask, how do I kno. Is it about leaving something, giving up on it or is it about letting it stay, giving it the time, let it grow and develop.

But I guess in the end its all about the choices we make and never look back, never regret, never say "what if".

Interpreting Love

Love I think sometimes is overrated. Underestimated. Ignored. Misunderstood. Treasured. Trapped. Lost. Found. Discovered. Conquered. Felt. Expressed. Feared. Longed. Finally Lived!!!

"Love - it gives you the courage you never thought you had within you" - this by far is my favourite love quote. Picked from the movie "Little Manhattan" also happens to be my favourite love story movie :) Cutest thing I have come across in whatever I have seen.

LOVE - You find it in the strangest of the places at the most unexpected times. In the most unexpected form and in the most unexpected ways. In a way you never knew it existed. In a way you never thought you'd see it. In a way you never felt it. In a way you hated it. In a way you laughed at it once. In a way you saw it happening only to others. In a way that you never wanna let go. In a way that you know letting go is the best way to keep it within you. In a way that your ways defy you.

In a way it lets you flow with it. In a way that it scares you. In a way that nothing seems difficult. In a way that its always the best morning and the brightest sunshine. In a way that all music is romantic. In a million more ways than this and a million more ways you would see it, experience it, enjoy it. And most of all want it and have it.

It gives you sleepless nights and dreamy days. It makes you want to do things you never thought you would. It makes you cross thousands of miles when you dont even know the directions. It makes you discover yourself. It teaches you to feel your heartbeat. It drives you crazy and keeps you sane. You laugh and cry at the same time. You lose and find yourself. You move ahead and wait. You turn around and you look ahead. It lets you be, and then you are just there in that feeling that only you know for yourself.

So love happened to me :) I saw it and I lost it. And didnt know if I'd see it again. Then I thought I felt it again. And then I saw it slip away. By then I gave it up saying b******t. And then yet again it approached me. This time I was careful, cautious, scared it would go away and I made a failed attempt to stay away from it. To keep it away from me.

But then its love - it entices you in a way - a lot of ways. And I found myself staring at it again. First it smiled, held my hand, took me in its arms, made me smile and then it turned to look at me. Slowly taking its hand away from me, waived at me and walked off. And I just stood there thinking and wondering. So I ran after it, walked along a bit and then I just walked ahead. Left it behind. I turned to look at it and I didnt turn. I kept walking. Then maybe it wasnt mine. But just something along the way. And maybe I need to keep walking further.

And I still haven't interpreted it. If you have; share it :)

Enjoy the read.