For my friends wedding card...

Seven years of Love,
Seven years of Togetherness,
Becomes a blessing of a lifetime.
A new dream sprining to life,
A new journey, a new turn,
A new destination, a new found love.
Our biggest celebration, our biggest day,
Amidst all those who matter,
To share what will be our most precious moments :)

All the best MPI !!

Figured!!

My last post left a lot of readers (i like to believe) confused, wondering and looking for their answers. I think I found mine :)

So this is gonna be as short as it can get. Being sure, being confident, having the right reasons to do something, convinced in your mind about a decision, having the balls to do something... and then questioning everything :)

I said 8 on 10 people haven't figured it out and the 2 are the lucky ones. And all the little - big things of life that makes you think and contemplate. They say dont push yourself, give it time, be sure about it and then I thought.... its not about being sure.

Its just about believing :)

Figure it Out

Yea figure it out for urself and when you do, share it with me. I bet 8 on 10 people (thats my favourite stat number :P) would end up in discussions and the lucky 2 would figure it out. Hmmm... so what is it that I am trying to figure out here. Well, guess I haven't figured that out yet :P and yea I can go on and on in this maze confusing all of you who have been kind enough (or shall I say have the time in this busy busy world) to come and read this latest post of mine.

So I had a long and tiring day and ended it (almost ended) it with a very lively discussion with AAP007 on what and how can one figure out things. I will admit that I am not sure. And that you can never be a 100% sure of things. You take a decision to get married to someone - thats a point where you think you can commit and stand by it to spend the rest of your life with that one person. And then one sour moment, and you start questioning everything. The whole relationship you have built around yourself, all the dreams you have seen with someone, a whole new world you made and comes crashing in front you.

So does it really come crashing, or have you woken up from the crash just now to realise its crashed?

So AAP007 asked me if I decide to marry someone and then a week before the D day he comes up with the most unreasonable things ever and what would I do. Well, I didnt have an answer. Im trying to "figure it out" - do I still have one or not. There are so many things that go into it; that for you to just say one way or the other aint that simple. I can sit back and say yeah I will still stand by him and he will understand me or I can say No. If he values things over him and me - over us - then maybe he isnt the one im looking for and I wouldn't hesitate to walk off.

But then I think, can I really do it. Is it so easy to walk off? To forget, to put it all behind you. To just move ahead. Maybe yes maybe not. Depends on what you want. You want to stick to it, hang on to it or you've had enough. Its all about answering one questions,"Is it all worth it?"

Then again I read somewhere, "Truth is that everyone is going to hurt you; you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for" and then I think - "and make the suffering worth for yourself" that you can look back and smile at it...

Profound thoughts, little things in life looked at in a big way.

This is where we say its overrated, hyped and then its true. Its us, we overrate and hype things.

But then that's what life is about, making something more important than another. Prioritizing one over another, letting go and holding on. And in the end, know its a trade off a bargain. You lose some you gain some.

Is it about reaching a point where you say you have arrived, but then how do you know you wont question it. Is it about having your options? But then again, you always have your options, its about when you strike a deal with things and give in or breakfree. You can do it on day 1 or you can do it 20 years later. Well, I guess its about a point where you say,"This is it" and you stand by it. Committing to it. Having the confidence in yourself and not in another person. Knowing that you can do it and you are not dependent on another person.

Then we think if its about feeling it, knowing it, feeling what you know, knoing what you feel. Subconscious thought, conscious feeling or conscious thought, subconscious feeling. A maze of feeling and thoughts mixed. Do we rationalize our feelings, or do we just subject our will to feel things. To feel - overrated again?!! Hyped. Gut feel, instinct - its nothing but your confidence in yourself. When you are confident you are sure, thats when your gut feel is strong. When you are in doubt how will you feel strongly, how will you be sure of anything outside of you, when you dont know whats it inside of you.

Then again, is it your inner confidence that precedes what you feel or your feelings that precede your confidence. And then again Speaking Tree (I dont remember the writer) says,"Happiness is internal, its not external. Its within our selves and we cannot seek it outside of us." So PSO007 told me "Find the happiness within yourself and forget everything else :)

Then again is it about figuring out what you want or knowing that its not always gonna be the best and the best will always come. Hmmm... that's easier said than done. So what is it about??

I dont know. I wish I did. Maybe I willl come into the category of the 2 out of 10 who would one day figure it out. For now I havent, and no I can't answer that question I was asked today. I guess its about deciding whether its worth it, about make choices and moving on. About getting up one day and putting things behind you to move ahead. And then again I ask, how do I kno. Is it about leaving something, giving up on it or is it about letting it stay, giving it the time, let it grow and develop.

But I guess in the end its all about the choices we make and never look back, never regret, never say "what if".

Interpreting Love

Love I think sometimes is overrated. Underestimated. Ignored. Misunderstood. Treasured. Trapped. Lost. Found. Discovered. Conquered. Felt. Expressed. Feared. Longed. Finally Lived!!!

"Love - it gives you the courage you never thought you had within you" - this by far is my favourite love quote. Picked from the movie "Little Manhattan" also happens to be my favourite love story movie :) Cutest thing I have come across in whatever I have seen.

LOVE - You find it in the strangest of the places at the most unexpected times. In the most unexpected form and in the most unexpected ways. In a way you never knew it existed. In a way you never thought you'd see it. In a way you never felt it. In a way you hated it. In a way you laughed at it once. In a way you saw it happening only to others. In a way that you never wanna let go. In a way that you know letting go is the best way to keep it within you. In a way that your ways defy you.

In a way it lets you flow with it. In a way that it scares you. In a way that nothing seems difficult. In a way that its always the best morning and the brightest sunshine. In a way that all music is romantic. In a million more ways than this and a million more ways you would see it, experience it, enjoy it. And most of all want it and have it.

It gives you sleepless nights and dreamy days. It makes you want to do things you never thought you would. It makes you cross thousands of miles when you dont even know the directions. It makes you discover yourself. It teaches you to feel your heartbeat. It drives you crazy and keeps you sane. You laugh and cry at the same time. You lose and find yourself. You move ahead and wait. You turn around and you look ahead. It lets you be, and then you are just there in that feeling that only you know for yourself.

So love happened to me :) I saw it and I lost it. And didnt know if I'd see it again. Then I thought I felt it again. And then I saw it slip away. By then I gave it up saying b******t. And then yet again it approached me. This time I was careful, cautious, scared it would go away and I made a failed attempt to stay away from it. To keep it away from me.

But then its love - it entices you in a way - a lot of ways. And I found myself staring at it again. First it smiled, held my hand, took me in its arms, made me smile and then it turned to look at me. Slowly taking its hand away from me, waived at me and walked off. And I just stood there thinking and wondering. So I ran after it, walked along a bit and then I just walked ahead. Left it behind. I turned to look at it and I didnt turn. I kept walking. Then maybe it wasnt mine. But just something along the way. And maybe I need to keep walking further.

And I still haven't interpreted it. If you have; share it :)

Enjoy the read.

Life!!

So here is another emotional upheavel that brings me to write my blog. Thats how I started writing, and that is how every art form takes birth. It is nothing but your emotions.

A painting on a wall or an art gallery, a musical composition by a musician on the streets, a photograph by a wanderer, a movie of a dreamer, a wedding dress in a store or a 'tantra' tshirt for that matter, a novel on the shelf, a building worth looking at, an appetizing dish, a piece of pretty furniture in a store, a sculpture, fireworks out a little box, a bouquet of the little flower man, a couple dancing with the best smiles you can ever see, a potter creating magic with his hands a wheel, biker doing his wheellies (if this is the correct spelling), a cricketer on the pitch creating magic with his bat, a bartender mixing alcohol to make us happy high, a hairdresser giving you a makeover look with simple scissor going snip-snip and well a bloggers post on a random internet search.

Its a form of expression, an expression that comes up from our emotions, our feelings, the way we look at things our perception of them. So whats this post about. well, not really just about where art originates from - we all know that by now :) Its creativity, which is not logical or rational its just a form of emotion we create in our mind and let it out in various forms.

I started the blog in 2006 I think and amongst the most irregular ones. And this one after long is away from the facts and realities, from the complexities of the society or my preceptions of those.

The last couple of years have kept me way too busy with day to day work and exploring the world that it somewhere took me away from taking my time out and in some ways took me away from myself. And then there are times you choose to prioritise and we prioritise the things which are "by definition" are the correct choices, for me it was "Work and Career". My head said now is the time and once this is done there will be loads of time to enjoy other things. And well those "other" things actually me with myself. And here I am after 2 gruelling years of work - with myself again. Looking for something new, a new purpose, a new challenge again something new and different.

The title reads life and if you are expecting some deep insights on Life you may or may not get it :) Cos I just named it Life - i sat down to write and this is the first thing that came to my mind and I just put it down. No thought, just a feeling. Feelings at times cannot be explained in a thousand words and at times just a smile says it all. Writers have gone ahead and created the most beautiful expressions to describe feelings of love, affection, happiness, remorse, sorrow, disappointment. And we read these carefully chosed words, in the form of songs, or poems and read them over and over again to feel them.

There is always a way to express yourself to other people, people like me prefer and find it easier to just say things :) Some people I know cant say it so easy, but their actions say it all. The way they look at you, the way they touch you when talking to you - a slight pat on the shoulder, a little tap on your head, a playful punch, a friendly nudge, and a bear hug - all you need to know they care and love.

And by the time I reach this part of the post im lost as to what I started writing. So well lets see, life - it becomes the most difficult thing to deal with and sometimes the easiest thing. Sometime you are lost in thoughts and on what to say next and do next. Sometimes its the magic of thoughts that carried you far far away. Sometimes its the whilrwind of expressing a lot of things at the same time. Sometimes it leaves you behind to figure itself out sometimes you go far too ahead and it catches up with you. Sometimes its contagious and you end up spreading it all over.

Life - its to be lived to the full. To be enjoyed every moment of, to be kept simple and straight, to be smiled on, to have no regrets, to look back and be able to smile at and most importantly - not to give in but to pursue and pursuem to take it till the end, to fight it, cos we are the champions!!! Champions of our life :)

Chennai Times!

6:15 p.m. Chennai airport, waiting to board the flight for Mumbai – a one way ticket just like the one I had 2 months back in November 2009. :)

So here comes an end to the shortest and sweetest stint. I moved to Chennai 2 months back as a part of my rotation – and was prepared and loaded with at least 50 books to read to survive what was supposed to be a 10 month long stint. However, like we all say, ‘you never know where life takes you’, here I am on my way back to Mumbai in 2 months.

Chennai was nothing like I expected; in fact I didn’t expect much and it turned out to be a lot more than just some south Indian conservative city that sleeps at 10 every night. Chennai (if you read my previous posts) is a lot of fun! A new city is a lot about the kind of people you end up meeting and of course a lot about deciding to have fun. A city cannot really be good or bad, boring or fun, slow or fast. It’s the people that matter and how you accept the place that matters. So well, I guess I realized this while I was here. Yea 2 months could be too short to say – and at the same time I feel 2 months were too short for me to have all the fun and do everything I wanted to in Chennai.

So I spent my last 2 weeks in Chennai in revisiting the best things to do in the city and traveling to Pondi the little town around 3.5 hours from Chennai with some amazing beaches and FOOD. It’s a quaint little French town – and amazing to see how in a so culturally strong a country like ours the Frenchmen left their imprint behind. Right from food, language to the feel of the place, Pondi represents the luxurious and content life of the people of France.

Here are a few more pictures of the city capturing some fun moments of a good life!

I will definitely be missing Chennai – but nothing is ever as good as coming back home. As they say, home is where heart is!! Im back everyone! Good times again!! :)

PS: Post supposed to be published on 14th Jan 2010. Delay regretted owing to various reasons - Reliance datacard is the root cause :) Thanks to MTNL that comes to my rescue now.